What is your relationship with money?
From November 12, 2024 newsletter, Loose Pages - Sign up for it here.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I listened to a podcast with Ramit Sethi. Ramit shared four archetypes when it comes to how we relate to money: The Avoider, The Worrier, The Optimizer, and The Dreamer. I identified myself as The Worrier because I would probably still be worrying even if I had more money than I knew what to do with: What if our house burns down? What if banks crash? What if the stock market becomes obsolete? All the what if’s.
P.S. The fact that I find this set of archetypes flawed is for another conversation. I don’t like being boxed in as The Worrier because what if I heal and grow out of that? Is the Optimizer the only one positive archetype to heal into?
That aside, I realized that my relationship with money isn’t that different from my relationship with humans:
“My first few years running my own business have been great, but what if money doesn’t want to stick around and leaves me?" (Money has stuck around.)
“My husband used to be head over heels for me. Maybe he doesn’t love me like he used to.” (He does love me.)
“I don’t hear from this friend as much as I used to. Are we not as close as we used to be?” (We are still close.)
It’s this theme that love/money will run out. Reflecting on my relationship with money made me want to have a different dynamic with money. And, if I can change my relationship with money, imagine what else that could unlock in my life?!
What is your relationship with money? What does it feel like? What beliefs impact it?
Where/when else in your present life do you feel this way?
Where/when else in your earlier life did you feel this way?
How do you want your relationship with money to feel? What do you want it to be like?
What is one small thing you can do to feel this with money? To shift your relationship with money?
I want my relationship with money to be one that feels secure. A thought exercise that I try to practice is to ask myself what facts prove that my fears are true and what facts prove that my fears are not true. To feel more secure in myself, I also ask myself: “So what if that were true?” and this usually uncovers more for me to learn from and reminds me of my resilience and resourcefulness: I’ve gone through tough stuff before and I can go through tough stuff again if I have to.
I also want my relationship with money to be one that feels fun rather than worrisome. The one small thing I’m doing is to approach my monthly bookkeeping as a fun task since it’s not something I look forward to doing each month. I don’t expect full change to happen over night but I do see these small shifts adding up to big ones.
Would love to hear your reflections and insights in the comments!