It is safe to be _____.
I’ve been feeling anxious about the future. And when I feel anxious like this, I tend to take action. I will seek direction from others, scheduling time (and spending money) to meet with intuitives, coaches, and friends - desperate for opinions that will tell me how I can basically “do it right”. I will also do things out of a sense of responsibility (it’s the right thing to do) and out of pressure (because ultimately, I don’t want to fail).
I know in my heart and mind that practicing stillness and tuning in is the best thing I can do for myself, but I find myself deprioritizing this. It seems much easier to take action. And that’s when I realized that this is because taking action has historically felt safer than being still. Growing up, it didn’t feel safe to be still when I was afraid. Doing nothing felt vulnerable - like I was just putting myself out there to be attacked. Doing things also gave me a sense of control.
So how do I shift from this tendency - this reflex - to act to a practice of stillness? I create ritual and slowly build the habit of stillness. Every morning when I wake up, rather than going to my phone first, I try to tune in and practice self-compassion. Throughout the day, I pause to notice - my breath, my pace, etc - and give myself an opportunity to recalibrate. In stillness, I tell myself that I am safe. It is safe to be still.
We all have ways that we protect ourselves. From an early age, we have learned what behaviors keep us safe.
What self-protection strategies have you learned to adopt to feel safe?
How can you show self-compassion to the part(s) of you who needed these self-protection strategies?
How would you fill in the blank: “Up until now, it hasn’t felt safe for me to be ______ but I am learning to feel safe being _______.”
Take a moment to tune in. Connect with your inner child - really see what your inner child needed and honor your resilience. Also connect with your protector(s) and thank them for trying to keep you safe all these years. Let them know that you are ready to feel safe being ____.
I’d love to hear about your own reflections and journey in the comments. Sending you love and compassion.